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Jesus Desires Presence Over Production

peaceful lake on a afternoon in southeast Indiana

In this new season,  God is showing me he is more concerned about my relationship with Him and who I am becoming rather than what I do. I had been running the race of full-time vocational children’s ministry for over twenty years. For thirteen of those years, I was working full time while juggling motherhood.  

I wore the label of “doer” quite proudly. I have always been the high achiever type. As a 3 “The Achiever” on the Enneagram, I strive to DO everything with excellence. In every ministry I had the privilege to lead, I saw the need for improvements. I wanted to take the ministry to the next level. My gifts were putting structure in place, setting a vision for ministry, and helping families win at home. 

Recently, I was looking back through my journals. I’m not sure where I read this, but it is a beautiful reminder for all of us.  “Jesus desires presence over production.” Jesus doesn’t say perform for me. He whispers, “Draw near to me.” 

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.”

James 4:8 (NIV)

Honestly, I never considered the years of ministry work as performing. Yet, as I continue to spend time with Jesus and get closer to him, I have come to recognize that some of my identity was in what I did. As I spend time in silence and prayer,  I continue to hear Jesus whisper, Paula, I am with you. Your identity is not in what you do. Your identity is found in me. My dear child, you are my daughter. You are my beloved. Draw near to me. 

What about you? Is your identity found in what you do? Are you an achiever like me? I challenge you to take time this week to sit with God. Draw near to him, and he will draw near to you. 

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Abide in Me

“By relinquishing normal patterns of human striving and hard work, we can become aware of the vacuum we keep trying to fill by doing stuff and achieving things.” – Dallas Willard

Have you ever found yourself striving to get things done no matter the cost? I have. I was raised with a strong work ethic. If something is worth doing, it is worth doing right was my dad’s motto! So it didn’t surprise me that I became a “get it done kind of person.” I will work tirelessly until I finish something. 

In 2014, I had just celebrated my tenth year on staff at the church where I worked. I was blessed with a 3 month sabbatical. It took me a couple of weeks of working through my to do lists before I realized what God really wanted from me. He wanted me to stop the striving and start abiding. 

I started slowing down and spending time with Jesus. My morning quiet time became my favorite time of my day. I no longer wanted to hurry through my devotions to get on to the next thing on my list. I started lingering in the Word. I started journaling. I learned that Jesus wanted me to learn to be with Him. He showed me what it was to abide in Him. This sabbatical provided the much needed space to rest and to restore my spiritual health. 

A Slip Back into Striving

Recently, I found myself back in a striving mode. I was on staff at a large multi-site church. We were getting ready to launch a new campus. There was a lot to do. I had a to-do list a mile long.  I could tell my soul was quickly becoming weary.  I became full of anxiety and worry that I wasn’t going to be able to keep up. Did I mention I was a perfectionist who valued excellence! Ugh… 

Over time, as I spent time in God’s Word and in prayer,  Jesus reminded me of what he called me to do.. Abide in Him. 

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned.  But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.” John 5-8

I stepped away from that role 2 months ago. My anxiety has subsided. My soul is being restored as I am finding rest in abiding.  I am spending intentional time with Jesus. I am choosing His presence. A book that has helped me re-focus is Choosing Presence: How to Access God’s Peace and Release Fear, Anxiety and Stress by Jim Heaney.

I think Dallas was right. We have to relinquish the pattern of human striving and hard work if we are going to abide in Jesus. What about you, are you striving or abiding? 

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Necessary Endings Lead to New Beginnings Take 2

black hanging bridge surrounded by green forest trees
Photo by Kaique Rocha on Pexels.com

Well, I did it…again!

I was called to a great church to help launch a kids ministry at a new campus. We had a successful launch season this spring.  I knew I was there to build a firm foundation. I wasn’t on the team very long before I realized God was trying to get my attention. I was so busy doing ministry, my soul became very weary. I knew this wasn’t the pace of life He wanted for me. So, before long, I started having conversations about stepping away from that ministry position. Yes, the second time in 4 years, I stepped out in obedience. 

The definition of obedience found in Webster’s dictionary is the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance. God asked me to do something that requires more faith. I know He is calling me to a new ministry. 

God keeps putting this passage before me.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” 

Isaiah 43:19

I believe God is doing a new work IN ME… so he could do something new THROUGH Me.

I’ll share my journal entry from a few years ago;  “I’ve known for a while that you were beginning to do something new in my life. I know you have something for me, yet you are waiting for me to surrender my position as a children’s pastor to you, to put a date on the ending. “I’ve said before that I am surrendered, but have I really? I have held on to what I know. I’ve been in children’s ministry for almost 20 years. I’m a good administrator, good at visioning, and connecting with people. Lord, it’s time to release what I know and step into the unknown.” 

In his book, Necessary Endings, Dr. Henry Cloud says…. “Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” 

It’s time to end something to move on. I am stepping into something new. I love to champion those around me and feel called to coaching and supporting ministry leaders. Obedience to me looks like pouring into others and helping them succeed in ministry without suffering from burnout. I want to help others lead from a healthy soul. 

A friend sent me this quote this morning.

“Just because something isn’t part of your life plan doesn’t mean it’s not part of God’s plan. God is working His good, pleasing, and perfect plan for your life in 1,000 ways you aren’t even aware of. Everything in your past is preparation for something in your future. God wastes nothing! Even when you have a setback, God has already prepared your come back. The God who works all things together for good, will leverage every experience, every skill, every mistake, and every bit of knowledge you have acquired!” 

Mark Batterson, Chase the Lion—If Your Dream Doesn’t Scare You, It’s Too Small.

I can’t wait to see what doors God opens for me! In Hebrews 13:21 it says, “May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.”  

I believe he will do what he promised! 

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Presence over Production

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.”  

James 4:8

The year 2020 has been interesting for all. COVID-19 found its way into our daily lives this past March. Whether you have lost your job, had to pivot your business or found yourself having to homeschool your children, I think everyone would agree, it has been hard!

I started the new year in a new season of life. I left my full time position as a children’s pastor at the end of 2019.  While I loved what I did, I stepped out as an act of obedience. God kept pushing me to step out of the known into the unknown. I stepped away not knowing what was next. 

I had been running a ministry marathon for seventeen years. I devoted myself to full time ministry all the while I juggled being a wife, mom, volunteer at my kids school, and a myriad of other hats. I was good at wearing the label “doer” quite proudly. 

I took the opportunity to rest and exhale during the month of January. When February and March rolled around, I figured it was time to look for my next ministry opportunity. I had conversations with two churches while COVID-19 shut down the country! As I continued in the conversations, neither seemed like the right fit. I continued to wait. 

May and June were busy with wedding preparations. Our daughter married the love of her life in Florida in mid-June. We were so thankful for a two week window where things had lifted for us to travel. While we had to reduce the number of wedding guests, we were blessed to witness their beautiful day with out any problems. God is good! 

July and August were filled with looking for more church staff roles. I spoke with three different churches and did a site visit for one. In this process, God made it very clear that he did not want me to “settle.” He had something much more than I could fathom. 

So I continue to wait. I continue to rest. God is showing me that he is WAY more concerned about my relationship with him and who I am becoming more than what I do.

The story of Mary and Martha shows us that Jesus prefers presence over production.  

“They came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.’

“But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Luke 10:38-42 (NLT)

As I reflect on the difference between Mary and Martha, Mary knew what was more important. Martha was too concerned with the preparations.  I admit. I have usually been a Martha. I strive for excellence in everything I do. As a leader, I  was always looking for ways to improve our systems. I wanted to take the ministry to the next level. I never thought of it as performing. Yet, as I come to understand my walk with The Lord, and grow closer to him, I hear his heart. He desires my slowing down. My listening. My seeking. My surrender. Jesus desires my presence over my production. 

“Jesus doesn’t say, ‘perform for me,’ he whispers, ‘draw near to me.’” 

—Lysa TerKeurst

What will you do… or not do today to draw near to him?

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Sabbath | Isaiah 58:13-14

This is from my Facebook Live from Wednesday, July 22, 2020.

I hope everyone is doing well!! We are so thankful here in our area that we have had  some much needed rain today! I know the farmers are praising Father God today!! 

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned I would share spiritual disciplines that can lead to spiritual transformation.  In her book, Sacred Rhythms. Ruth Haley Barton shares the importance of taking time to create your own sacred rhythms. 

Recently, I shared the importance of silence and solitude and how reading God’s word for transformation leads to a deeper relationship with Christ.  Today I want to speak with you about how God has shown me the importance of Sabbath. 

The passage I am reading from is found in Isaiah 58.

“Keep the Sabbath day holy. Don’t pursue your own interests on that day, but enjoy the Sabbath and speak of it with delight as the Lord’s holy day. Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day, and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.Then the Lord will be your delight. I will give you great honor and satisfy you with the inheritance I promised to your ancestor Jacob.  I, the Lord, have spoken!”

Isaiah 58:13-14 NLT

Sabbath or Shabbat in Hebrew, is a day of rest on the seventh day of the week.  Sabbath keeping is a way of ordering one’s life around the pattern of working six days and resting on the seventh. 

One thing that I have come to understand during this season is the importance of Sabbath. While in full time ministry, I found it very difficult to keep a sabbath.  I would fill my days off with all the things I couldn’t get to during my work week. Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, other projects.. You name it – I did it!! Most weekends I would fall into bed at night completely exhausted.  

God has used this season to teach me the importance of taking a day to rest and refuel and just “BE”. It is a pattern that God himself established as he was doing his work. He worked six days and rested on the seventh. 

This is something Kevin and I have regularly been doing this these past couple of months. We begin our Sabbath time at 6:00p on Saturday and keep it until 6:00p on Sunday. 

As I look to re-enter full time ministry, I am convinced more than ever the importance of keeping a day to honor the sabbath. I believe God wants us to emerge from our Sabbath rested and renewed, not worn out. 

Now, you may be wondering.. What AM I to “DO” for Sabbath…think about things that would allow your body to rest, replenish your spirit and restore your soul.  In his book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, John Mark Comer, shares some ways you can mark your sabbath:  

  • Lighting the candles
  • Blessing the children
  • Eating a meal
  • Singing
  • Worshipping with your Community
  • Walking
  • Napping
  • Making love (if you’re married)
  • Reading
  • Spending time alone with God
  • Spending time with family and friends
  • Gratitude

Here’s your challenge… What if you took time out of your week to create a sabbath for yourself? How do you think your life would be different? I think you may be surprised how the much better your week will go when you work from your rest!

Let’s pray.. 

Heavenly Father, 

Today, I pray your blessings over everyone listening today. I pray for my friends who are needing rest. I pray they will find the rest and renewal they need by honoring the Sabbath. 

In Jesus name. Amen. 

Thanks for joining me today! 

Have a blessed day! 

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God’s Word | Scripture | 2 Timothy 3:16

This is from my Facebook Live from Monday, July 20, 2020.

I hope everyone is doing well!! Can you believe we are more than half way through the month of July? Our summer is going quickly!! 

A couple of weeks ago I shared about the spiritual discipline of  Silence and Solitude. Today I want to speak with you about the importance of reading God’s Word.  

In 2 Timothy 3:16 it says… 

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. “

I have been reading the book, Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton. Ruth shares the difference of reading of Gods word for information verses transformation. She encouraged the reader to think about reading a newspaper verses reading a love letter.

Think about that… how many times do you skim the newspaper or your news apps for the headlines?  You are looking for information, right? There’s really very little emotional connection to those headlines, right? Now think about the reading a love letter.. There’s much more anticipation and emotional connection in reading a love letter. Many times we approach God’s word more like the newspaper than a love letter. What if we really allowed ourselves to be transformed by God’s word? God’s word encourages us, strengthens us, and renews us. Our relationship with God can be strengthened by spending time in His word.

Let’s pray.. 

Heavenly Father, Thank you father for your word, that is alive and active. Thank you for the reminder of how we can experience transformation as we spend time in Your Word. Today, I pray your blessings over everyone listening today.  In Jesus name. Amen. 

Thanks for joining me today! Have a blessed day! 

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Seeking Stillness & Solitude

I originally wrote this for the Arise Newsletter, Volume 2 Issue 7 | July 2020. Arise is an organization for ordained women ministers in the Church of God. The video was a result of the following article.

“Many Christians have so busied themselves with programs and activities that they no longer know how to be silent and meditate on God’s word or recognize the mysteries that are in the Person of Christ.” 

Ravi Zacharias

About two years ago, while on staff at Salem Church of God, we were wrapping up a Gravity discipleship course with Kristan Dooley. As a result, I felt God call me to deepen my roots.  Unfortunately there were times my quiet time was something I looked at as something I would check off my “to do”  list. I saw it as something “To do” rather than “to BE” with Jesus. 

I knew God was calling me to a deeper relationship with him. I knew God was calling me to Stillness.. To BE with Him. One verse kept coming back to me.

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”

Psalm 46:10 (nlt)

I realized I was really good at “doing” but not good at “being”.  I struggled to spend ten minutes alone with God. I sensed something had to change. I no longer wanted to be so busy working for God, that I didn’t know God. And I realized that being busy for God, could make me miss out on what He really wanted for me. Was it possible I could do God’s work, yet miss out on what he truly wanted me to do? Was I listening?

Busy-ness makes us look like the rest of our culture. You cannot hear God if you’re too busy to listen. Busy-ness causes us to take matters into our own hands instead of giving it to God. Instead, God calls us to be still.

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.”  

Psalm 27:14 (nlt)

Sitting in stillness and silence was such a new thing for me. There are times when it is still difficult. But It has changed my relationship with God more than I could ever imagine. I encourage you to take a few minutes of your prayer time to just be still and quiet. Listen to God’s love for you. Remember—GOD loves you and cares for you more than you can ever imagine! 

If you are looking for ways to quiet yourself and be still, here are some simple steps for you to try. 

  • Find a comfortable place to sit and be still
  • Concentrate on your breathing
  • Inhale then exhale.  
  • Notice your body relaxing
  • Feel God’s presence

It may take you a few days to get comfortable with this. At first, your mind will race to the things you need to do for that day. Keep at it! I promise you will come to a place where you start to crave this stillness. Remember, God wants to BE with you more than he wants you to DO. Take time to be with him!

Here are a few resources I have found helpful. 

Books

  • An Invitation to Retreat by Ruth Haley Barton
  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero
  • Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
  • Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
  • Soul Keeping by John Ortberg
  • Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton

Podcasts

  • Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership with Ruth Haley Barton
  • The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast with Pete Scazzero

Apps

  • Centering Prayer
  • Pray As You Go
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Peace | Philippians 4:6-7

Hey friends – This is my Facebook Live from July 16.

I hope you are all doing well in the midst of this crazy season we are STILL in. It’s hard to believe we are halfway through the year… halfway through July and we are in our 5th month of COVID19.  We continue to see a growing number of coronavirus cases throughout the United States. It’s unbelievable how rapidly it has spread since states have reopened.  We also continue to see a climate where there is extreme racial and political tension. Y’all, I feel like we are in the middle of a big storm!  I have to keep reminding myself that God is in CONTROL! 

Many of you may also be experiencing your own personal storms…

  • maybe you or a loved one are waiting to hear back about a diagnosis.
  • maybe you are recovering from an illness or surgery.
  • maybe you are patiently waiting to hear back about a job opportunity.
  • maybe you and your family are trying to figure out if you are going to send your kids to school this fall. 

We have so many storms around us… but I’m here to tell someone that God is bigger than your storm! One of the best scriptures on peace is found in Philippians.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”  

Philippians 4:6-7

I think it is easy to look at our current situation and only think doom and gloom – that things will never change. I don’t buy into that thinking… Because I know my God is Greater than any problem – any storm.  I love the quote… 

“Don’t tell God about how big your STORM is… tell your STORM how BIG your God is!!!”

God wants to hear our praise and prayers.  He wants to know that you believe He is bigger than your problem! With God.. We can have peace in the midst of the storms.

Will you pray with me…

God, we thank you for your word that is alive and active. Thank you for your peace that passes all understanding. Guard our hearts and minds today. Father God, I also pray for all those who are listening today. I pray for a blessing over each one. I pray they may experience God’s peace. 

Thank you for hearing these prayers. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Friends, Thank you for joining me today! I hope you know that you are loved! 

Blessings, everyone! 

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Hope | Hebrews 6:18-19

This is from my Facebook Live from Monday, June 8, 2020 (Not Monday, June 11th!) 

My heart has been so heavy as I have been witnessing the protests and riots on the news… Our nation is hurting. We haven’t made it out of a global pandemic, yet we are in another crisis. Friends, we need the HOPE that Jesus brings. 

Today, I want to read  from Hebrews 6:18-19

“So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.  This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.”

Hebrews 6:18-19

Friends, my heart has been hurting since I first saw the video of  George Floyd’s death. Honestly, when I first saw the video, I instantly  shut off the television because it bothered me so much. 

Then, when I saw it on the news the next day,  I stood in shock and disbelief.  Something deep inside me cried out  – I cried out to God for justice – I cried out –  God, this has to stop. 

My heart hurts over the racism and the divide our country is experiencing. Friends, God loves every single one of us. He created us all in HIS image – whether brown or white. 

As Galatians 3:28 says:

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Galatians 3:28

God is our strong, trustworthy anchor of healing and Hope. In his sight, we are all equal. 

I pray that we will all turn to God in prayer and do our part to help bring unity to our country. 

As I close today, I want to read one more passage from Micah 6:8.


“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good,

    and this is what he requires of you:

to do what is right, to love mercy,

    and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8

Let’s pray.. 

Heavenly Father, Thank you father for your infinite love. God, thank you for being our source of refuge and the strong trustworthy anchor of our souls.   

God, I pray you will bless each one listening to the sound of my voice this day. 

Father, I lift up the family of George Floyd. 

I pray you will comfort them. 

I pray for REVIVAL. 

I pray you will heal our land.  

I pray for all who have suffered injustice. 

I pray you will bring unity to our nation. 

Today, I pray your blessings over everyone listening today. 

In Jesus name. Amen. 

Hey Friends, I have been doing these Facebook Live devotionals for the past several months during the Coronavirus.  Our country is in such need. I know you have needs too. I would love to hear what you are struggling with… 

  • What keeps you up at night? 
  • What do you feel you need the most? 
  • How can I help you? 

Feel free to comment below or send me a direct message. 

I will be “off the grid” for the next two weeks. We are heading to Florida to celebrate our daughter’s wedding. But when I return, I would love to connect with some of you – Whether it is over coffee in person or virtually! 

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Forgiveness |Colossians 3:13

Hey friends! This is from my Facebook Live from May 28, 2020.

Today I am talking about forgiveness. The passage I am reading from is Colossians 3:13.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Colossians 3:13 NLT

Friends, I am going to be real with you. My husband called me out the other night on the topic of forgiveness. Have you ever wanted to just craw in a hole? Yep, that was me. 

I had no idea I was holding on to some pain from the past couple of years. As I prayed about this yesterday morning, God spoke to me and said you need to write a letter to that person. Not to give it to them, but release the emotions and truly forgive that person.  

God reminded me that sent his only son to die on the cross for the forgiveness of MY sins. I am so thankful how God has forgiven me for all the wrong sinful things I have done.  God reminded me the importance to forgive others. 

Friends, I did it. I wrote the letter, expressed my feelings and released that person from the hurt they caused me. It was so freeing.  I knew if I didn’t forgive, the enemy was going to keep me stuck. 

Forgiveness heals. Unforgiveness keeps you stuck. I am learning that often times God uses our waiting season to bring healing in our lives. Perhaps it is emotional healing. Perhaps it is physical healing or a spiritual healing. For me, it was emotional healing. I believe God was waiting for me to forgive someone who caused me pain in my past. 

Is there someone you need to forgive today? Maybe it isn’t another person. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. My friend, God wants to bring healing and restoration to you.

Listen, if you need someone to talk to, I am available! I would love to pray with you. 

Let’s pray.. 

Heavenly Father, Thank you father for your infinite love and forgiveness. Bless all those who are listening to my voice today. I pray you will bless each one this day. Meet them where they are. 

Father, I lift up those who may be suffering from Covid 19 – whether it be from the virus or from a job loss. Continue to give us strength for each new day. 

Today, I pray your blessings over everyone listening today. 

In Jesus name. Amen. 

Thanks for joining me today! 

Have a blessed day!