Presence over Production

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.”  

James 4:8

The year 2020 has been interesting for all. COVID-19 found its way into our daily lives this past March. Whether you have lost your job, had to pivot your business or found yourself having to homeschool your children, I think everyone would agree, it has been hard!

I started the new year in a new season of life. I left my full time position as a children’s pastor at the end of 2019.  While I loved what I did, I stepped out as an act of obedience. God kept pushing me to step out of the known into the unknown. I stepped away not knowing what was next. 

I had been running a ministry marathon for seventeen years. I devoted myself to full time ministry all the while I juggled being a wife, mom, volunteer at my kids school, and a myriad of other hats. I was good at wearing the label “doer” quite proudly. 

I took the opportunity to rest and exhale during the month of January. When February and March rolled around, I figured it was time to look for my next ministry opportunity. I had conversations with two churches while COVID-19 shut down the country! As I continued in the conversations, neither seemed like the right fit. I continued to wait. 

May and June were busy with wedding preparations. Our daughter married the love of her life in Florida in mid-June. We were so thankful for a two week window where things had lifted for us to travel. While we had to reduce the number of wedding guests, we were blessed to witness their beautiful day with out any problems. God is good! 

July and August were filled with looking for more church staff roles. I spoke with three different churches and did a site visit for one. In this process, God made it very clear that he did not want me to “settle.” He had something much more than I could fathom. 

So I continue to wait. I continue to rest. God is showing me that he is WAY more concerned about my relationship with him and who I am becoming more than what I do.

The story of Mary and Martha shows us that Jesus prefers presence over production.  

“They came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.’

“But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Luke 10:38-42 (NLT)

As I reflect on the difference between Mary and Martha, Mary knew what was more important. Martha was too concerned with the preparations.  I admit. I have usually been a Martha. I strive for excellence in everything I do. As a leader, I  was always looking for ways to improve our systems. I wanted to take the ministry to the next level. I never thought of it as performing. Yet, as I come to understand my walk with The Lord, and grow closer to him, I hear his heart. He desires my slowing down. My listening. My seeking. My surrender. Jesus desires my presence over my production. 

“Jesus doesn’t say, ‘perform for me,’ he whispers, ‘draw near to me.’” 

—Lysa TerKeurst

What will you do… or not do today to draw near to him?